last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize