Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
