I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
