Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
