Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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