yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
