It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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