Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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