i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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