drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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