guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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