Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The best revenge is premature balding
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
