Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
