just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
