We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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