Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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