Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
