She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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