chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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