I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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