Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize