Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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