Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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