So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
