i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
