I smell stomach acid.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
