Pappa wants mamma naked
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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