Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
