my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
