And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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