Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
