You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Let's paint friendship bongs
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
