So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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