Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
