I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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