My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize