I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
