After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
we're making bets on your personal life
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize