well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
