So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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