It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize