Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
