are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
