i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
