Nicole vs. Life
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
