I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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