Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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