I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
