I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize