Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
