Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
