Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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