You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
