dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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