he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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