I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
