When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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