We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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