you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
