matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Oh god it's open bar.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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