dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
